This courage, I’m still trying to find. I peel back the layers that life has built around me. I won’t be fooled by my perceptions, because that’s all they are. Sometimes what is real is buried deep down underneath. So don’t get caught up in the confusion. The illusion that what you see is always real.
I feel this coldness creeping inside my skin. But I will not wait until I feel brave to let go. Because courage comes when we face our fears. And so I dance anyway.
I close my eyes, inhale in life and exhale wonder.
I transformed my pain into freedom. I picked myself up, along the pieces of me scattered all over the ground.
My pieces transformed into star dust, all over my skin. And every morning when we wake up, we get to be born all over again.
I kept on remembering what I already knew. That I was whole, and my pieces weren’t scattered everywhere.
Without realising I was holding onto guilt and shame, for something I never did. And now I have no more excuses to hold onto it.
I realised that freedom is inside of me, it never left me. I am freedom. A flicker of light, and the exact perfect concoction of sun and moon.
I’m standing on this bridge, in between two worlds. The same magic that is there in every moment, seen and unseen. I remind myself that what I’m feeling in that very moment, is not a reflection on what really is. I create dramas and worries that are only real because I make them so. That life paints a different picture. Life is always dancing and nothing can change that, even silence.
Every time I lay down my head, something pulls me further away. Like a magnet, charged by the shadows that are left behind. I cling on to them, ignoring the light that exists. And I become lost and disillusioned, by the tragedies from my past. But I know that I’m getting there, to the place that I have not known in a long time. In my heart I’m already there.
In this place, the stars shall be enough…
Be one with it all…
Sometimes their are moments where I feel lost. Instead of being one with all I feel scattered. I know I need to be one with it all, because that’s the point of all of this. It’s the secret, but it’s not really a secret. Life gives us messages, omens. And it’s up to us to be open enough to see them, be guided by them. It’s all inside of me, every single answer my heart already knows. But knowing this is not enough. I need to trust and let go. They are our gifts you know. So I need to embrace them like they’re treasures, because they truly are.
I’m learning how to be more courageous, to open my whole heart, to myself, to all that is. To honour me, all of me. With no restraints, just like the wind.