Life wants to know what you are made of. It already knows who you are and what you need. But it wants to know more of what you ache for.
Life wants you to know what is inside of you. It wants you to realise that their is nothing you can’t face. It already knows that you’re already the fire. Now it needs you to know this.
That’s why life makes you ache sometimes, it breaks you down until you feel like their is nothing left. But their is my dear, underneath all the layers you have wrapped around yourself is a wholeness so pure, so full of love and magic.
I lost my soul, in between the broken pieces of the past.
I got caught up in the drama of other people’s conflicts.
Then I found my fire again.
I learnt how to let it cradle me, hold me.
I learnt that I deserved so much more, that I was good enough, that I mattered.
I could and see the light trying to touch me, to show me that it was there, and that it never left.
I held onto it, as much as I could.
I had fought so much before, but life wanted me to fight even more. So I did, I fought as hard as I could.
Life needed me to realise that I already was the fire.
I become lost in the shadows, even for just moments.
The sky doesn’t feel familiar, and all I want to do, is to escape to any place but here.
But the day rises again.
All that was lost becomes found, all over again.
The sky comes back to me.
It wakes me up inside , sweetly whispering, to me with its wild breathe.
I became lost in a world that hides behind steel cages. When all that is sacred becomes pushed away.
In a world where time is never enough, we are never enough. We are fooled you know.
The world telling us that there is a place that we need to be, a place we need to get to. We are taught that we will never have enough money and we need the “perfect” body.
Where love has been twisted, that only our desires are important.
We are made to feel so inadequate and small. We aren’t meant to be free, we are meant to suffer.
But I wont be fooled. You can’t fool someone who has already been here so many times before.
I have the oldest part of this universe inside of me.
When I walk, I walk with the wind
softly brushing against me.
When I speak, I speak from my heart. My heart is love and so is every part of me.
You see, you can never ever ever beat love.
I can’t control it. I don’t even know what it really is.
All I know, is that I have to wake up each new day, and live it.
Live it and love it so much that it hurts.
Whatever life brings to me, whatever I choose to bring to the table.
Even when everything aches, I still show up.
Your soul can’t be absent here, it doesn’t work like that.
You can’t classify yourself dead, when you’re still alive.
I feel like I can no longer do this. That life has just become too out of reach.
I fight for what I have become.
I fight for what I don’t have.
I fight for a better place.
Life teases me too much.
It knows where it hurts the most and it doesn’t even care.
Life leaves me cold, and worthless.
It leaves me poor and broken.
It reminds me of the past.
Life makes me stronger though.
I don’t know why and I don’t even know how.
Somehow the sky fills itself back up with stars.
It gives me hope again, yes even allover the scattered glass, it’s there.
Then I know I am blessed.