The wind whispers, ‘it’s going to be alright’. Life holds me like the stars holds its stars. Strangers bring me their light, smiles like golden hours. They fill me up and carry me.

But when I allow myself to be completely alone, I feel an emptiness. The scars deep inside, I can feel every inch of them. I taste the blood inside my tears. And their is no one to carry me, to hold me. I wonder is it because I don’t need anyone? Or is it because I have been forgotten about?

But maybe it is meant to happen, when I’m grey and old. When I have exhausted every strength, lived every ‘me’ time to its fullness. And the wind will whisper to me, ‘he has arrived.’

Xo

Stars shaped like diamonds. Scents of yesterday, lingering. I hold the magic close to me.

I used to feel afraid. Life was passing me by, and still I held on. Afraid that if I gave away all of me, their would be nothing left. That I would be too much, or not enough.

Then I remembered who I was, who I really was. And not just the me I could actually see, but the unseen part of me. My essence, my life force.

The calling came before I was born. The real part of me has always been here. Parts of me inside the ocean and inside every sky.

Life held on, and I never let go.

Xo

This courage, I’m still trying to find. I peel back the layers that life has built around me. I won’t be fooled by my perceptions, because that’s all they are. Sometimes what is real is buried deep down underneath. So don’t get caught up in the confusion. The illusion that what you see is always real.

Xo

Freedom…

I transformed my pain into freedom. I picked myself up, along the pieces of me scattered all over the ground.

My pieces transformed into star dust, all over my skin. And every morning when we wake up, we get to be born all over again.

I kept on remembering what I already knew. That I was whole, and my pieces weren’t scattered everywhere.

Without realising I was holding onto guilt and shame, for something I never did. And now I have no more excuses to hold onto it.

I realised that freedom is inside of me, it never left me. I am freedom. A flicker of light, and the exact perfect concoction of sun and moon.

Xo

I’m standing on this bridge, in between two worlds. The same magic that is there in every moment, seen and unseen. I remind myself that what I’m feeling in that very moment, is not a reflection on what really is. I create dramas and worries that are only real because I make them so. That life paints a different picture. Life is always dancing and nothing can change that, even silence.

Every time I lay down my head, something pulls me further away. Like a magnet, charged by the shadows that are left behind. I cling on to them, ignoring the light that exists. And I become lost and disillusioned, by the tragedies from my past. But I know that I’m getting there, to the place that I have not known in a long time. In my heart I’m already there.

In this place, the stars shall be enough…

Xo