Freedom…

I transformed my pain into freedom. I picked myself up, along the pieces of me scattered all over the ground.

My pieces transformed into star dust, all over my skin. And every morning when we wake up, we get to be born all over again.

I kept on remembering what I already knew. That I was whole, and my pieces weren’t scattered everywhere.

Without realising I was holding onto guilt and shame, for something I never did. And now I have no more excuses to hold onto it.

I realised that freedom is inside of me, it never left me. I am freedom. A flicker of light, and the exact perfect concoction of sun and moon.

Xo

I’m standing on this bridge, in between two worlds. The same magic that is there in every moment, seen and unseen. I remind myself that what I’m feeling in that very moment, is not a reflection on what really is. I create dramas and worries that are only real because I make them so. That life paints a different picture. Life is always dancing and nothing can change that, even silence.

Every time I lay down my head, something pulls me further away. Like a magnet, charged by the shadows that are left behind. I cling on to them, ignoring the light that exists. And I become lost and disillusioned, by the tragedies from my past. But I know that I’m getting there, to the place that I have not known in a long time. In my heart I’m already there.

In this place, the stars shall be enough…

Xo

Your body a sanctuary, your skin holding me. But they were just moments of gold, trying to hold on. It wasn’t enough.

You wanted my skin, not what was underneath. But I believed you, when I felt us.

I was just a prized possession, but not one you wanted to keep. When you were with me, I was still out of reach, because you were out of reach. You felt what it was like to lose me. So you let go.

And I’m grateful.

You let me be your sky and then you left. And that’s ok.

Xo

yesterday…

It feels like yesterday, since I could feel all of you. I broke apart, but in the best kind of way. We laid there our naked skin, wrapped together. Swept away by the moment, nothing else mattered. Except for streams of sunlight creeping through the open window. It made shadows dance along the white concrete wall.

That night you needed me. You let me climb your walls, as I felt your heart open even more. I felt your freedom. And you felt mine.

But nothing good ever stays the same. You left and you said goodbye to me in my dream. Even now I still feel you, every time I see the shadows dancing. It reminds me of that night, that still feels like yesterday.

Xo