Inside the chaos, their is a softness. A sweetness, a gentle touch.
A love that never stops.
Magic always finds me. It picks me up just in time, before it all turns into madness.
In a world that tries to harden me, I remain soft and vulnerable. I will not be tricked. Tricked into thinking that I’m not enough, that I don’t already have all that I need.
Because I am set in light, and nothing can or ever will break me.
Your body a sanctuary, your skin holding me. But they were just moments of gold, trying to hold on. It wasn’t enough.
You wanted my skin, not what was underneath. But I believed you, when I felt us.
I was just a prized possession, but not one you wanted to keep. When you were with me, I was still out of reach, because you were out of reach. You felt what it was like to lose me. So you let go.
And I’m grateful.
You let me be your sky and then you left. And that’s ok.
It feels like yesterday, since I could feel all of you. I broke apart, but in the best kind of way. We laid there our naked skin, wrapped together. Swept away by the moment, nothing else mattered. Except for streams of sunlight creeping through the open window. It made shadows dance along the white concrete wall.
That night you needed me. You let me climb your walls, as I felt your heart open even more. I felt your freedom. And you felt mine.
But nothing good ever stays the same. You left and you said goodbye to me in my dream. Even now I still feel you, every time I see the shadows dancing. It reminds me of that night, that still feels like yesterday.
They come like wild flowers. I got used to solitude, I got used to my own skin.
Then you came out of nowhere, and you caressed me. Your hands touching my skin, this time. But you lied to my heart. With the soft strokes of your finger tips, you made me feel that I mattered, that I was enough. But you didn’t really want me. You just wanted to make me feel like you did, so you could feel good about yourself.
All of the wildflowers, are taking their toll on me. Instead of already feeling whole in my own solitude, I have come to yearn for that certain sweetness that you can’t have on your own.
I lost my soul, in between the broken pieces of the past.
I got caught up in the drama of other people’s conflicts.
Then I found my fire again.
I learnt how to let it cradle me, hold me.
I learnt that I deserved so much more, that I was good enough, that I mattered.
I could and see the light trying to touch me, to show me that it was there, and that it never left.
I held onto it, as much as I could.
I had fought so much before, but life wanted me to fight even more. So I did, I fought as hard as I could.
Life needed me to realise that I already was the fire.
I become lost in the shadows, even for just moments.
The sky doesn’t feel familiar, and all I want to do, is to escape to any place but here.
But the day rises again.
All that was lost becomes found, all over again.
The sky comes back to me.
It wakes me up inside , sweetly whispering, to me with its wild breathe.
I watched the sky fall.
All that remained, was me and the silence.